Dear Dayna,

I have usually planned to visit a lesbian club, but I’m anxious that I’m not cool sufficient. How you speak about it’s so incredible and enjoyable and impressive, but I’m scared i am too introverted for the scene. As well as if I might get my self to a bar, i do believe i’d throw up if I made an effort to hit on a woman. I must say I wish to just go and make friends and discover a girlfriend, but my personal anxiousness keeps getting in ways. Preciselywhat are some pointers for an initial time nerdy lesbian?

– Lesbian Urkle

Dear Lesbian Urkle,

I could possess respect of offering guidance as a lesbian intercourse and matchmaking writer, but oh honey!
I panic my personal means through life
, you’ve visited the right place for help. Though i’m an anxious hottie, we however on a regular basis head out, arrive and hook-up. Exactly how, you ask? Follow these points: appear gorgeous, beverage and push yourself to speak with complete strangers.

First situations initial:
You may need a brand new ensemble
. I won’t lie for your requirements —
yes, lesbian taverns can be intimidating.
Yes, the world can feel somewhat cliquish. Indeed, girls are hot and outfitted impeccably. But you know what else? Those exact same girls tend to be humans like everyone else and me. They may be out to have a good time just like you and myself.  Plus they are most likely cruising for intercourse exactly like you and me personally. You know what else?
You may be in the same way cool and swaggy should you decide overcome your anxiety.

When you have scored a hot brand new outfit (might I suggest black trousers and a leather-jacket to relax and play it traditional lez classy?), it is the right time to take in. We never ever mentioned this was healthier guidance! I’m a nightlife lez, maybe not an exercise lez. Having loosens you up, lowers the inhibitions and heightens the self-confidence. But try not to take in in excess. You think you have personal anxiousness now, lady? It is absolutely nothing set alongside the crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you are going to feel should you decide get up tomorrow not recalling yesterday. You’ve got a five-drink max, hottie.

More significant than consuming is being good. I accustomed develop into major mean-girl-mode as a defense procedure based on how vulnerable I became feeling. I’d scowl at anyone who viewed me. We acted like I found myself too good to talk to complete strangers. Now i will be always cheerful and tell hi everybody else. Its much easier and much more fun. I understand it really is appealing to place your tough-babe armor on if you are experiencing anxious, but becoming vulnerable and sort is actually a much better method to socialize appreciate your self.

Residing my personal fab existence has instructed me personally a really thing: It’s not that severe. Like, nothing is. Especially lifestyle! Life is small. Nothing you are doing will truly make a difference (okay, now the Jenny Schecter in me personally is on its way away, slice the nihilism). In a nutshell, simply state go with it, and have fun. It’s my opinion in you. Whenever you find myself out, appear state hi!

Xoxo,

Dayna

Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is actually satisfied is relate Editor at GO mag. She actually is excited about lesbian sex dates, charm + manner, and her badass bionic arm. Counsel available in this column is intended for educational reasons merely and must perhaps not replace or replacement for any health, or other professional advice or assistance.